Life, August 2009

This week, I have…

Watched exactly 0 hours of live TV (we cancelled Dish Network – we aren’t destitute, we just want to save money after going through 3 unraises this year)

Processed payroll 1 time (successfully!) 

Nearly bodily threw out a payroll salesweenie from my office Thursday. Seriously. If every time you call me to sell me your payroll service, I HANG UP on you, I do not want your service. You suck!

Took the afternoon off on Monday for a followup to our big July Medical Adventure (If anyone asks, an HSG is not nearly as painful as the internet would have you think. Getting less than promising results on husband’s semen analysis? Just as painful as you can imagine).

Been deeply angry at my body. Seriously – what the fuck? TMI Alert (dad, this means you!): What the hell kind of body decides that THIS is the month to deviate from its usual every 29 days cyclical perfection? We all know that being knocked up is a medical improbability (and, why, yes I have tested three times – big fugging negatives) so… for fuck’s sake, Auntie, stop looking at the bus schedule, the train timetable and the different plane fares on Orbitz. Get here and put me and my hope out of our fucking misery. Goddammit. (Edited to add: Aunt’s here. Thirty five day cycle. Incredible!)


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This is bullshit…

Everyone is having babies.

Husband’s best friend and his wife just welcomed kid #2 this morning.
College roommate welcomed twin boys on Friday.
FaceBook friend from high school is in the hospital right now having her first.


Saw my gyno today. He wants me to have husband’s sperm analyzed. Good luck talking him into THAT. I could barely come up with the words to suggest it. After that, he wants me to have a test called an HSG, where they shoot dye into my tubes. Oh boy.


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I want to run away from home. Usually when I feel this way it’s because husband and I have had a fight, I want to load up our car with my stuff and the dogs and go home. But this time I want all 4 of us (Husband, me and the two dogs) to escape together. I want him to get transferred so that we have to move. At this point I’d even accept a move to a foreign country. I want out of this life and into a new one.

Do I particularly think it will solve our problems? No, not really. I think that a permanent change of scenery would benefit us both. This is the house that husband’s kid lived in when he visited us every other weekend (or EOWE, in stepparenting lingo), this is the house where we spent days painting his room so he’d say “WOW” when he saw it for the first time. (He did and I was there to witness it). But now, the house is just full of ghosts. The kid’s room is half converted to an ersatz home gym (treadmill and Wii Fit) but it’s like he’s still there. And my home office (ha! ever since I bought the laptop I haven’t been in that room for more than a half hour) was where the baby was supposed to go. I had a little mockup of the nursery on my old laptop. Crib there, changing table/bureau over there, book case next to the rocking chair, cheerful themed artwork on that wall.

(I have a $300 stroller and a capsule Gymboree wardrobe but no child to enjoy any of it).

There are ghosts in this house and I want to escape them. I want to wake up tomorrow, look out the window and see something other than our town. Ideally (albeit foolishly) I’d like to live in the Asian city we visited last year. I guess it was an ideal situation because I didn’t have to do any work and we lived in a hotel room. Any fool can make that awesome. It would probably be worse to live in a country where you don’t speak the language (well, I can hail a cab – “teksi!”). At this point, I’d live anywhere just to roll the dice and give us another chance at happiness.


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So, husband was out of town. One of my big plans was to finish rereading and get some writing done on the novel I’ve been working on since I was a teenager (and not 19, I mean something like 13 years old). It’s stupid, but I’ve really done a lot of rewriting on the work and I am impressed by my words. (I guess any girl with her own domain and a secret blog must like their words! Ha!)

Anyway, so those were my intentions. Somehow, I still haven’t finished even the rereading. Usually when I read over what I have written I change a few words here, delete a paragraph there, debate a little about “Is that a natural response”, etc.

It makes me batshit crazy that I didn’t even finish the rereading. I look at the time when husband goes out of town to get stuff like that rolling and…feh. 


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QotD: Name Your Poison

Today is Name Your Poison Day. So make a decision and tell us: what’s your poison?


The Internet. I’m the kind of girl who can’t live without the internet while on a weekend trip. When husband and I went on our big 2 week trip last year, I would have lost my mind without the internet to wile away time. I have been on the internet (or at least AOL) on a daily basis since I was in junior high school. I am a total internet addict. My idea of heaven is my laptop and an internet connection.

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QotD: Classic Video Game

What is your favorite classic video arcade game?
Submitted by northerngeek.

So, I don’t play a lot of video games. I don’t think I ever even tried anything more complex than the original 8-bit Nintendo. Therefore, I’d have to say that my favorite old video game is Super Mario 2. I think it came for free with my brother’s Nintendo so that was about all I played. (I was also a fan of Duck Hunt, which I believe was also free).

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